Do you have a true friend

“But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man."

2 Samuel 13:3 (NKJV)

Amnon Needed to Hear the Truth

If you want to hear the whole sordid account, read 2 Samuel 13, but here are the "lowlights":

Amnon needed a true friend, but what he had was Jonadab. Amnon was consumed with lust for his half-sister Tamar and needed someone to tell him the truth. Instead, he had a "crafty" cousin who didn't offer truth, but rather a scheme to fulfill that lust. Two years later, Amnon was dead at the hand of his brother Absalom because of it.

What Amnon needed was a true friend, but all he had was a Jonadab.

Who is Your True Friend?

Brothers, do you have a true friend? A friend who will look you in the eye and, because he loves you, will tell you when you are wrong? Amnon might have lived to be an old man with a house full of children if he had such a friend. Instead, he never even had his own family because his “friend’s” advice led him to death rather than life.

I have been blessed with friends over the years to whom I can ask a serious question and receive a serious answer—an answer not based on what they think I want to hear, but on what I need to hear. It is an answer that doesn't come from worldly craftiness, but from God’s wisdom as revealed in His Word and by His Spirit.

These are the friends who:

• Sharpen us like iron sharpens iron (Prov. 27:17).

• Give us “faithful wounds” (Prov. 27:6) that make us stronger men and better followers of Jesus, even when they hurt.

• Care more about character than comfort.

• Choose love over lust and truth over worldly ease.

A Few Wise Words

Please don’t think I am saying Amnon’s sin was Jonadab’s fault. Amnon was a grown man who made his own choices; he was not forced to sin. We cannot blame Jonadab for Amnon's actions, but we know that Jonadab’s influence made it easier to choose the wrong path.

Jonadab’s "craftiness" made it easier for a young lady to be disgraced, a brother to commit murder, and, eventually, a civil war to break out. We will never know, but what if Jonadab had been wise instead of crafty? What if Jonadab had said to Amnon the same words Tamar eventually did?

2 Samuel 13:12–13 (NKJV) “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel…”

What a difference a few wise words from Jonadab could have made. Tamar’s words didn’t stop Amnon, but he desperately needed to hear them. We cannot force friends to hear the truth, much less follow it. But may the Lord give each of us the love, the wisdom, and the backbone to speak truth to our friends—and to hear truth from them—whenever the opportunity arises.

A few wise words at just the right time can change a life.

Mike Book

MD5 Facilitator