Do you struggle with this "F"?

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

For if they fall, one will lift his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 (ESV)

Is This a Weakness?

It's Spring Break, and my children are outside playing with friends without a care in the world. They have reached the stage where they want to be with peers more than Mom and Dad. Watching them laugh and sharpen each other reminds me that as creatures made in God’s image (Imago Dei), we are designed for relationships. While most men prioritize family, the "Friends F" is often an area many admit is a weakness.

What's Changed?

Why did friendships come so easily in our youth compared to now? It comes down to two things: busyness and a lack of intentionality. In the cohorts I facilitate, men often lament letting friendships die or failing to create new ones in their current season. A pastor friend once told me that most friendships are primarily seasonal. He wasn’t suggesting we shouldn't pursue them, but rather keeping them in perspective. We must be intentional with the bonds we have now. Don’t be the dad glued to his phone at practice; be the one engaged with others. Since you are already succumbing to the busyness of being there, take advantage of the opportunity.

It Takes Intentionality

Despite my children’s annoyance, I am the dad engaging others in their activities. I’ve invited men to church, shared breakfast, or simply provided a listening ear. I do this for two reasons: first, to influence those God brings into my “garden” (the Faith F), and second, to cultivate a new community (the Friends F). While we lack the easy "on-ramps" of our school years, we have the maturity to be more intentional today.

The Friend Formula

It makes me smile to leave the gym and see the vehicles of men I know gathered at local breakfast spots. One MD5 brother recently admitted the "Friends F" was his weakest area due to the heavy demands of career, church, and coaching. Now, his vehicle is one I see frequently. He made coffee with a friend a bi-weekly priority and partnered with his wife to open their home for hospitality. It is no longer his weakest area. The difference was simple: intentionality and saying “no” to less important things.