“Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Ephesians 5:25
I was Shocked
I thought I would 'crush it' in marriage. Since I married at 35, I believed I’d be a great husband after learning from others' successes and mistakes. But I didn’t realize how deeply ingrained my selfish habits were, especially because I was single until I was 35. Less than a year into my marriage, I saw just how selfishness I was and how much I still needed to surrender to Jesus to become the man He called me to be for His Kingdom and my family's good.
The Foundation
The home is the foundation of society, according to The Triune Creator God, and its stability largely depends on the leadership within it. One of the key insights from the Family Module is the concept of “headship” in the home—a responsibility given to men to lead with love, sacrifice, and spiritual direction.
Headship is quickly becoming a bad word in our society because people think it's about dominance or control but it's actually about creating an environment where the family thrives, through both leading and submitting. When men step into their God-given role as leaders, they foster security, stability, and growth.
As Matt Chandler puts it,
“Where men fill the purpose and design as the Bible has outlined it, humanity flourishes.”
However, when men neglect their role, the family suffers—divorce rates rise, children seek guidance elsewhere, and the moral fabric of the home weakens.
It Starts with Sacrificial Love
So what does effective headship look like?
It starts with sacrificial love. A man should lead by example to love his wife as "Christ loved the church"—which means putting her needs and desires before his own, leading her in faith, and demonstrating patience and understanding. This love isn’t passive but actively seeks the well-being of his spouse and children. It's both tough and tender.
A Thermostat Not a Thermometer
Spiritual direction is another crucial aspect. A father is called to be the spiritual thermostat of the home, setting the spiritual climate by being an example through prayer, Bible study, and faith-filled living.
The home should be a place where faith is nurtured, questions are welcomed, and God’s presence is evident. Studies even show that families who pray together have significantly lower divorce rates.
Providing in Every Way
Finally, headship includes providing for the family—not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually. A leader serves by ensuring his family is equipped with wisdom, stability, and a sense of purpose.
When men embrace headship with humility and love, families flourish, and in turn, so does society.
However, it's such a big responsibility that your relationship with our Heavenly Father needs to be strong or it will not work right.
Challenge
Men, don’t let Satan or selfishness take root in your family or friendships. He’s working to destroy you from the inside out—so draw near to God for truth, guidance, courage, and strength.
If something hidden is harming your relationship with God, your wife, kids, or friends, confess it to a brother in Christ, ask The Almighty God for forgiveness, and repent from it. Then, update your life plan and take action.
Your future depends on it!
Ryan Johnson
MD5 Facilitator
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