What do you think a friend is?

“As iron sharpens iron,

so one man sharpens another.”

Proverbs 27:17

A Clear Message

In the old James Taylor hit, “You’ve Got a Friend,” the message is clear: treasured friendships aren’t limited by boundaries. Beyond the Grammy recognition, the number one spot on the Billboard charts proved its universal appeal and provided potential inspiration for us to consider.

Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Muhammad Ali once said, “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”

What is a friend?

We typically think of a friend as someone who shares similar interests, spends time together in activities, and supports us. Science verifies what we already know about the importance of friendships:

1. Friendship can extend your lifespan: Studies show strong social relationships boost survival odds by 50%.

2. Happy friends are contagious: Research from the Framingham Heart Study found a happy friend living within a mile increases your own happiness by 25%—roughly 12 times more than a $5,000 raise.

3. Quality beats quantity: You only need three to five close friends to get the full health and happiness benefits.

4. Toxic friendships harm your health: Ambivalent or emotionally draining relationships are linked to poorer heart health than being alone. People in toxic friendships experience roughly a 50% increase in anxiety and diminished mood.

Our Dominant Identity

For many Americans, work has become their dominant social identity, squeezing out friendships. Finding fulfillment at work is trumping meaningful personal relationships. Recent polls indicate solo dining has risen 29% in the past two years. Sadly, it isn’t just an indicator of fewer friendships, but the inability to create and keep them. Social isolation weakens well-being, impairs problem-solving abilities, and triggers loneliness along with other mental health challenges. When enough people de-prioritize friendship, society shifts.

This Requires Risk

Forming friendships requires risk. Ask Jonathan. His unwavering support of David in the face of conflict reveals that real friendship is about standing firm when circumstances get messy. He chose to protect David from Saul at great expense to himself, costing him the throne and drawing scorn from his father. Reaching out, showing up, and investing take time, effort, and priority.

Jesus' Model

Do your intentions outweigh your participation? Would anyone feel comfortable calling you at 2:00 a.m. to lend a hand, pray over a heartache, or simply listen? Jesus modeled investment, availability, and intentionality. We would be wise to do the same.

Mark Stitch

MD5 Facilitator