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What's your approach?

"For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them."

Matthew 25:29

Why Does this Matter?

In the Friend "F" we focus on selfless friendship because most men seek out friends for selfish reasons. However, what most men don't know is that this friending model will never satisfy and will never last.

Why does this matter? Because friends are intended to be invested in and not taken from.

The Matthew Effect

We studied the Parable of the Talents in MD5 for a couple of reasons.

  1. It's a lesson on wise financial investing.

  2. It's also a lesson on selfless and intentional treatment of others.

In both cases the summary of the principle applies. God has created us to invest/cultivate in others and not to take from others. Whether it's money or people that God has entrusted to you, He commands you to approach it with selflessness for God's glory and the good of others.

Another Wise Saying

In addition to Matthew 25:29, this quote that I learned in MD5 has deeply impacted my view of friends and my friending approach.

"I went out to find a friend and found none, I went out to be a friend and found an abundance."

What I Learned

My initial view of friends was very selfish. I would never say this out loud but I was ultimately looking for friends to help me, listen to me, validate me...

Now, I ask God to show me who he wants me to invest in, not the other way around. I found that God is faithful to reward me with peace and satisfaction in my heart if I am obedient to surrender my friendship desires first.

However, there is an adverse effect. A selfish approach can bring the wrong type of friend and we will not be given more.

Diagnose the Problem

If you are not sure you are taking the selfless approach to friendship these questions will help:

  • What is your motivation behind your friendships? Self-centered or others-centered?

  • Who do you think benefits more from your friendships? Just you or both of you?

Be a life giver and not a life-taker in your friendships because that's what Jesus modeled for us and it's how God designed us!

Ryan Johnson

MD5 Facilitator

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