Why They Did Not Stray

“Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Why They Did Not Stray

In what may be the most famous child-training verse in the Bible, King Solomon stated: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV). “Training” a child is not an easy task.

In fact, I suggest that parenting has never been easy. A cursory reading of the Old Testament quickly reveals that Adam, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Aaron, Eli, Samuel, Saul, David, Solomon, Josiah, and Hezekiah all had difficulties with their children.

My Discovery

I do not pretend to have a “magic bullet” to share with parents that always works with all children. However, I want to share something I discovered that may stimulate your thinking.

Years ago, I accepted the position of Dean of Students at a Christian college in Texas. I hadn't been there more than a few weeks when I realized that some of the students were living for the Lord and some were not.

On the surface, everything seemed to be the same. Most students were raised in Christian homes, and some were even preachers' or deacons' kids. Yet, some strayed from the Christian life and others did not. I began to ask myself, “Why?”

My Research

After about six weeks of research, I discovered the following characteristics in the lives of the teens who were faithfully living for the Lord in college:

• Strong Relationships: They had a strong personal relationship with their parents. The lines of communication were open, and they felt they could talk to their parents about anything.

• Healthy Self-Esteem: They knew who they were and liked who they were. This gave them the courage to say “no” to the wrong people and wrong behaviors.

• Balanced Discipline: The parental style of discipline was authoritative—not permissive or authoritarian.

• Academic Focus: They were of above-average intelligence. While some were straight-A students, none were C-average or below.

• Full Engagement: They participated in various extracurricular activities. They did not merely attend class; they were fully involved in college life.

• Clear Vision: They had concrete goals for their lives. They knew what they wanted to do and saw the steps necessary to achieve those goals.

• Decision-Making Skills: They had learned how to make good decisions. Their parents allowed them to make choices throughout their lives when the consequences of poor choices were small. Now that they were making decisions independent of parental input, they were making wise choices.

My Prayer

Although my study could not be labeled as “scientific research,” the results were accurate as I observed the behavior of college students over the course of three years.

My prayer is that these findings will stimulate parents to reflect on how they are raising the next generation of godly men and women. At least these thoughts will give you something to talk about with your wife on next week’s date night.